Rebirth, Surrender: A Manifesto

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It was Sunday evening and I was energetically spent from another one of my funks that I could only attribute to cosmic attack. I intelligently decided to reach out to some friends rather than wallow in my depleted emotional state (which is my usual unhealthy course of action). My angelic friend just happened to be heading to church in 45 mins and I knew that seeing her was my best bet for salvation from my inexplicable emotional spiral.

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The Anatomy of Stuckness

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I opened my email this morning to the treat of a quote that pretty much sums up the biggest life lesson I’ve learned over the past 3 months. Bear with me as we may all breathe a sigh of exasperation at how seemingly obvious it is.

Character — the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life — is the source from which self-respect springs.
― Joan Didion, On Self-Respect

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So simple it’s almost embarassing

Appreciation occurs when we begin to realize what we have been gifted with, and loving kindness reconnects us to others in a win-win attitude. We start to focus on positive thoughts and perceptions and, for a while, we let go of our fearful and anxious brain pattern. In fact, every action we engage in can become a daily meditation, a slowing-down and an appreciation of life. It seems so simple, in some ways, that it’s almost embarrassing to study it.

We need only remember when we were children who gazed at the sky and the drifting clouds. There was no notion of time nor any guilt for ‘wasting’ it. Time and guilt are concepts we learn about much later in life.”

– Dr. Patrizia Collard, The Little Book of Mindfulness

The Practice

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Growing up, I’ve always felt like I had to change for the people in my life – myself included – to become more this or more that in order to fit in and just feel like I belonged somewhere. From family to friends, I rarely felt good enough as is.

I’m not sure if this is something that everyone experiences while growing up or if I subconsciously sought it out and manifested it into my life, but I was stuck in a loop of always trying to please everyone else. In the process of rearranging yourself to other people’s needs, it’s easy to lose sight of yourself.

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